The Joys of Bachelorhood
by strawberrykiwi345
Summary: Define Bachelorhood: late night parties, drinking like crazy, and best of all no commitments. Alas, it can get boring. So, new challenges are created and bets are made. But wasn't it a rule that you weren't ever suppose to fall in love with your target?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**NOTE: This is AU and the characters are going to be a little OOC because of it, especially Naruto. He is still going to be the happy guy, but he is going to have a darker edge. And there is going to be a bit of foul language to fit their darker personalities.**

**ALSO NOTE that they are about 19 ish.**

The room was in complete disarray. The sofa was upturned. Streamers were strewn all over the place and plastic cups were littered all over the floor. Food and drink stains made the floor like multi-colored. Amongst the chaos was a mop of bright sunshine hair.

"Ahnngg...what err happened last night?" slurred the half conscious teenage boy.

The unfortunate teen was just detangling himself from an awkward position with his favorite froggie pillow when the door to his apartment slammed open.

"AHHHHH! HELP SOMEONE! RAPE! HELP ME! I CAN'T DIE YET! I'M TOO YOUNG!"

"Naruto, really? Keep your voice down you idiot" sighed an extremely exasperated male with spikey brown hair as a vein popped on the foreheads of his two companions.

"Ahh...Shikamaru! You scared me so much! I thought I was going to die! It's horrible! Such a young and noble death!" cried the sobbing blond as he hugged a boy with long brown hair.

"Get off of me you idiot. You are ruining my shirt." shot an irritated boy with the long hair and peculiar white eyes.

"But Neji! I almost died and all you can think about is your freakin shirt? Wow, some friend you are..." pouted Naruto. "Teme you care right?" Naruto questioned the pale boy with obsidian eyes next time.

"Hn" was the only reply that the blonde received.

"AHHHHHH! MY FRIENDS NO LONGER CARE WHETHER I DIE OR NOT! LET ME GO NOW! I AM ALL ALONE! SPARE ME THE MISER-"

"Shut up dope."

"TEME! I WON'T! MY LIFE IS OVER. OVER I TELL YOU! ALONE! OH THE PAIN AND AGONY!"

"I didn't know he knew the meaning of agony, much less use it in its correct context." said Neji with a smirk.

"HEY!"

"Ah...just shut up, your killing my head. Don't you have a hang-over?" asked Shikamaru.

"Oh yeah. Now that you mention it my head does it hurt. So...what happened last night?"

"Really dope? You seriously don't remember?" asked the raven haired teen with a hint of disbelief.

"Hehe...I guess not?"

"Well to put it in a nutshell...you threw a party, inviting around 200 people. We all got drunk and got laid." replied Neji.

"Oh...well how come I don't remember the girl?"

"That's becasue it wasn't with a girl dope."

"WHAT?"

"Naruto keep it down! Sasuke was just kidding." grunted a very irritated Shikamaru.

"Oh well that wasn't even funny Teme! Oh yeah, did you guys remember who I banged? What about yours?"

"Eh...some blonde chick. Lana or Lily or something like that. Would give her an eight out of ten" replied Shikamaru.

"Ahh well we all now Shika has a soft spot for blondes now don't we?" said Naruto slyly.

"Hn. four out of ten. Brunette. Busty. 36-24-36."

"You only gave her a FOUR? She had perfect measurements! Only you Teme would give a girl like that a low score." grumbled the blonde.

"Did you get her name Uchiha?" asked Neji.

"Didn't bother." replied Sasuke with a smirk.

"Got a seven out of ten. Pretty good for a ginger," said Neji with disinterest.

"Ahh well I don't even remember mine! Oh well. I am B-o-r-e-d. Let's do something guys! We don't want the last day before school to start to go to waste!"

"Dope. It's already 10:00 pm."

"WHAT?"

"You really are an idiot Naruto." said Shikamaru

"But...but..."

"Naruto...give it a rest." sighed the spikey haired boy.

"But we have a tradition! We always have to do something crazy before school starts! Like last year. We went streaked through Sensei Kurenai's house and toilet papered her house!"

"Dope, why do you think we're here?"

"Oh yeah...so what are we going to do..." asked the blonde a bit put out.

Silence settled in the room. "I got it! Why don't we do something big this year?"

"Big? We always do something big." replied Neji with an arch of his eyebrow.

"No I'm talking about MASSIVE. As in it's going to take place during the school year!"

"What do you mean dope?"

"So how about we see who can get laid the most?"

"No. Sasuke would win due to the fact he has the largest fanbase and we have all had just about every girl on campus." said Shikamaru.

"But..."

"How about we each have a designated female we must fuck that the others' get to pick and if we don't complete it we lose whatever we bet?" asked Neji.

"Dude that was easier than Naruto's proposition." said Shikamaru.

"Teachers or any female is included, not neccessarily a student nor from our school." replied Neji with ease.

"But that doesn't make it harder. They're literally all fangirls." said Sasuke.

"Yeah but here's the best part. Once you fuck them, you have to dump them and humiliate them. Make their life shit and then get them to love you again. Of course then dump then again."

"Neji, you are one sadistic bastard, but I like it." said Naruto with a gleam in his eye.

"Hn. I'm in. Shouldn't be too much of a challenge, but a good change to the norm."

"What are we betting?" questioned Shikamaru.

"I'll bet 2 million yen and my Aston Martin." replied Sasuke.

"I'll bet 2 million and my Bugatti." shot Neji with a smirk.

"2 million and my Lam." said Shikamaru with a shrug.

"YOU GUYS SUCK! I guess 2 million and my Ducati." grumbled Naruto.

"Well then it's settled. How about first one who completes the bet wins yeah?" asked Shikamaru.

They all noded in affirmative.

"Well, till then boys." said Sasuke with a smirk as he left them behind.

One thought went through the rest of their minds: Cocky Bastard.

**A/N: So I realize that Naruto is darker as I mentioned above, but I have tried to keep in context as much as possible.**

**NOTE! That these guys are all playboys and I am sorry if I offended anyone but it is necessary to fit their roles at the moment! I know that this is not how a lot of guys act, but they are PLAYBOYS and extremely COCKY! So just please go with it. **

**Please review! I'd love to know what you thought of it!**


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